


Could I have done more?

by iamafangirlokee



Category: Dare Me - Megan Abbott
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25403683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamafangirlokee/pseuds/iamafangirlokee
Summary: Collette French is gone and now Addy is groveling for Beth's forgiveness after she fully heals from her head injury. Beth still loves her but doesn't let yer off the hook easily, that doesn't mean she doesn't have a little fun in the process.
Relationships: Beth Cassidy/Addy Hanlon
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I really love writing but everyone has different tastes so I hope y'all enjoy and please give me some advice on how to improve!

I rapped my hands against Cassidy's door. I felt my hands start to sweat and my heart started to beat like there was no tomorrow. I heard the faint sounds of someone coming towards the door. It swings open aggressively and in front of me stands a tall, lean but muscled girl, with wavy brown hair, pulled into a quick ponytail, wearing a form-fitting blue dress. "Well Hanlon, surprising to see you here. Been a while hasn't it?" she says in her usual snarky tone. She cocked her head to one side and raised her eyebrows in mock surprise. 

"W-w-well, as you must know by now... Coach is gone and I-I'm sorry." I stammered through my sentence. I couldn't dare to look at her in the eyes but I shot her quick glances. She was clearly overjoyed to have been so right and couldn't bask in her victory even more.   
  


"Well, Hanlon, she isn't just gone, is she? She's been arrested. What, twenty years?" I tilted my head up slightly and brought it back down. Her smile grew even larger, something I didn't think was possible. She turned around whipping her ponytail a few centimeters away from my face and making a beeline for her couch. Beth left the door open behind her, making it feel like an open invitation. I stepped in and heard the disdainful squeak of my white cheerleader shoes and felt myself cringe. While Beth was dressed fashionably in her little blue dress, I was dressed in a baggy light pink shirt and a black skater-skirt. I came straight after cheer practice and we could all still feel the absence of Beth. She was supposed to come back next week. 

"So, Beth, you excited to come back?" I asked nervously knowing I probably sounded lame and awkward. She smiled her signature cocky smile again and just kept sighing my name over and over again. Beth's legs looked amazing in that dress though. They were pale and tone coming out of the fabric. I noticed the quick easy flexes and how she lifted one leg to inspect it. 

"I'm thinking about going to the beach soon. Get a nice tan before I start cheering again. I think I'd look better, what do you think?" 

"Uh ya, why don't we go right now?" I asked finally making real eye contact with her. She smiled a more genuine smile now and rested her hand on my knee. Electric currents shot through my body and my heart started to race again. My breathing became labored and hated myself for how easily she could make me react. 

"Get the towels, Hanlon, I'll get the bikinis. Unless you want to swim nude?" an evil twinkle in her eye. One that I missed seeing. I stood up and took off my hoodie. 

"Why not, Cassidy. Let's give them a show." 


	2. a real sense of Beth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addy just went to see Beth after avoiding her for so long. Beth has recovered from her accident and Collette French is in jail to the delight of her. Is she getting Addy back or is someone going to be lost?

My hand hung on the side of Beth's blue jeep. It felt like the old times but there was a slight tension in the air. That wasn't uncommon while being in the presence of Beth and so I just let it hang there. Or maybe she did. With her, I was never sure. 

"We're here bitch!" Beth yelled in my ear, with the sound echoing in her jeep. I jumped and she cackled. This brought on a wave of nostalgia. I started laughing as well and then she started undressing. She slipping the dainty blue dress, showing off her pale legs and body in her matching black underwear set. My heart skipped a beat and my voice barely coming out. All I could think of was "so beautiful"... 

"What Hanlon?" You have something you want to say?" I didn't realize I had said it out loud and I could feel the heat rush up to my face. 

"N-nothing." I stammered. That mischievous smile spread across her face and she took a step closer. Her hands moved down to my waist and she played with the edge of my sweatshirt. The pale pink nearly being the same shade she was. I winked and lifted my arms up. I felt her lift and stand on the very tips of her toes and so I had to bend down so she could pull it off fully. I felt the collar catch on my nose and then the warm breeze of the beach. Beth then bent down and slowly, almost teasingly pulled my skirt down. As if she wanted to hear the shift in my breathing as if she likes playing with my heart. 

"What Cassidy, too scared to take the rest off?" I smirked. 

"And Cadet Hanlon is back, but not yet, let's have a bigger audience." We ran towards the ocean and made a big show of setting down towels and an umbrella. Blowing up beach balls and playing around till a couple of guys came over. 

"Hey, so you guys came here alone?" Asked the tall one. He had a honey skin tone and was eyeing Beth's boobs pretty hard. While the other guy, the one who was silent behind his friend was a little darker and seemed to have more interest in me. He smiled a small smile and tilted his chin towards me, and I smiled back. He was tall and lean but had muscle. He also had this adorable mop of dark brown hair on his head. He was cute but not sexy, I'd make due. The other guy, the one who was clearly trying to get into Beth's pants was big, and all muscles. They were chatting up a storm, Beth clearly winning over him but I paid no attention to what they were saying until I heard Beth yell, 

"We're up for a swim but only if you can round up some more of your friends to company us." She said with a twinkle in her eyes. The tall guy turned around and hit his friend on the chest and started muttering something. Then turned back to us and shot me a glance. 

"totally. We can get Jake and the rest of the gang here in a few." 

"Don't keep us waiting," I said back, trying to sound like I was ready to get down or something, but I wasn't Beth. No one's Beth.  
The guys grinned and walked away. Sure enough, they were back in a few with a gang of other guys. 

"Ready Hanlon?" Beth shot at me. She raised her eyebrows seductively. I unhooked my bra and started pulling it off, and Beth mirrored my actions while the guys whooped. 

"Of course."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth and Addy. Addy and Beth. They fit together, it's hard to think of them separated. Except they were. Now, they're back together but, oh no, the past is brought up...

I giggled as I pulled my shirt back over my head. "So Hanlon, you enjoyed yourself today." She stated it. Beth rarely asked questions, usually, I was the one who questioned everything while she just smirked through life. Her confidence was something I always questioned.   
"Cassidy, how was sticking your tongue down that guy's throat?" And there was the smirk.   
"I wish it was you" she mumbled. I clearly didn't hear that correctly.   
"huh?" She just shook her head and stared seriously out the windshield. Beth was clearly deep in thought and so I just turned to stare out the window. I thought and a million thoughts appeared, a billion questions begging to be asked. But I knew she shouldn't answer or even wore she would. Knowing Beth she would make sure she would pay for asking.   
"Let's stop by the benches. I want to get buzzed and my house is bone dry. The mother fucker cleaned out the place." She shot me a sidelong glance.   
"Drive." 

She picked up a bag of Oreos. "Hey, you want the regular or-" She said loudly as if she needed to. The clerk doesn't care, we knew that but it was still part of the routine since we were fourteen, he stopped caring when we turned fifteen.   
"Double stuffed. I deserve a treat." I said knowing full well we would just stick our fingers down our throats after eating so might as well make it worth it. As she went to pay and distract the guy behind the counter, I quickly grabbed three bottles and put them in my tote back. I quickly spun and ran out behind the store where Beth quickly joined me. We burst out laughing and she quickly unscrewed out water bottles. I quickly dumped a bottle each into them and saved the last one for later. I have a feeling I'll need something to take the edge off. 

"So, Hanlon, I can feel the curiosity just radiating off of you."   
"So? That doesn't mean I'll ask, I know it'll ruin everything."   
Everything has already been ruined." She replied quickly and curtly. I sighed and debated whether or not this is a trap. I honestly had nothing to lose.   
"Why? What was your problem? With Coach. What was going on there?" I asked haltingly but surprisingly, I still sounded calm. No stutter, no waver in my voice, I sounded collected but still curious and innocent? Somehow. Beth signed and took a long gulp from her water bottle. I had no idea how she did that, whether it be beer to scotch. She never had to stop and the burn never showed. She was too strong to feel. In every situation.   
"You chose her. You used to always chose me. Then, she knew what she was doing. You couldn't see it. You can now. But she played you. All. Of. You."   
"But that's exactly it, I see-"   
"I was there for all of you since the beginning. I have always been there. Every single thing you know, every single thing you love, I gave it to you. And she convinced you that she did it. As if she could imagine how hard I worked for all of you! HA!" Her voice shook with anger. Her hands gripped the table, her knuckles turning white. I was scared. Really scared.   
"Beth, I need to tell you something."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addy has secrets. Beth has secrets. Everyone has them except they need to come out at some time. Or now.

I lay down on the grass and felt the blades on my skin. They were slightly damp and I could feel it soaking my shirt but only slightly. It'd dry as soon as I stood up. I could hear footsteps and squish of weight on wet soil. "So... she's a groomer." Beth said. There was no emotion in her voice and I can't tell if she thinks I'm inpure? trash? nothing? I have no idea. "Well, now I can tell she is. I didn't realize what was going on until... everything." My voice comes out meek and ashamed. I can't believe I fell for all the manipulation. I can't- "You know, it wasn't your fault." She says interuppting my thoughts and she answers all my unasked questions. Beth skootches over and our shoulder blades touch. Where they do, it sends electric shocks and currents through my body. "I should have listened to you. You knew all along and I just..." My voice trails off with my thoughts as Beth picks up my hand and starts drawing lazy circles with her thumb. "You learned your lesson now. And don't worry, I know you won't make the same mistake twice."

* * *

"Mom, I need to go." I yelled at my step mom. She rarely objects to me. My father and her rarely pay any attention to me and sometimes I like it. Sometimes it benefits me or most of the time it does. Yet now, she's objecting me going to hangout with Beth. The girl who tried to "defy the lords ruling". I didn't know she was a religious freak. I thought if I called her mom it would soften her up and apparently it did, my dad. 

"you can go. Just, be careful and don't leave town." She shpt him a look and they seemed to have a silent argument. The tension kept rising and so I decided to just leave silenty. 

"No, Addy! Seriously! I think we all need to discuss something!" My step mother yelled and my dad grunted then coughed. 

"Maybe now isn't the times, Jenny." He said, it was clear he wasa forcing himself to keep calm. 

"Beth has secrets, Addy, terrible ones. Her mother let me know." 


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets come out and now the question is, will they stick?

I could feel my nails digging into my palms. My knuckles turning pale. I could feel my skin splitting open. The sweat and blood mingling. The scent making me feel dizzy. "So, you told me that because?" "Addy, you need to know. Beth might seem okay but her time is limited. What she can do is limited. There isn't much time and I want you to consider that as you run off to her next." I let what she said sink in. So, Beth is dying. She seemed so okay. So fine. So back to normal. So, I'm Beth, I'm a badass bitch who'll rip your heart out. Yet, she's not. She's- The phone rings interrupting all our thoughts and disrupting the silence. My dad stands up and runs to raise it to his ear. "Hello?" Muffled sounds from the other end. "Yes. Okay." Even more, muffled sounds. A sharp intake of breath. "I'm so sorry. Yes, yes, I'll let her know." A quick sharp look at me. Intangible, heartbreaking, pain-inducing sounds. "Goodbye." "She's dead isn't she?" a nod of the head. I quickly stand and the room spins. It feels as if when I had low iron but with the extra pressure on my chest and I feel as if I am the stable figure and the walls are what is spinning.

* * *

I rummage through her things. A bright electric blue bra here and a blue and black plaid skirt. A lot of blue. Just a lot of blue. It always matched her skin tone and she loved the secrets it hid and the emotions it portrayed. Her blue jeep. Scrap metal now, I think. I keep looking through her things and I find notes from me, cards, gifts, everything I've ever given her in this room. Tears run down my cheeks. I rummage through more things and I find her favorite hoodie. It's a bright blue little thing. We bought matching hoodies as kids, mine was bright green and we wore them for years. We still wear them. I noticed a bulge in the pockets and so I reached in. Her keys to the Jeep and a little note card attached to them. In Beth's tiny, angry scrawl, "It's yours. It's all yours. -B"

* * *

I drove through town, my arm hanging lazily out the window like she used to. Everything where it's supposed to be. 

Except Beth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end, trust me.


End file.
